New Year, New Project

I'm really good at starting resolutions in January.  Finishing them is another thing.  So, I can not promise to blog every week.  But I will try.

While preparing for food shopping last Saturday, I noticed how large my folder of recipes to try someday had become.  Well, someday has arrived.  

One of my 2021 resolutions is to try one of these recipes that I have collected over the last 13+ years of marriage.  The recipe will be prepared and then analysed on ease of making, taste, and how the adults and kids like it.  (Because we all know kids and grown-ups have different taste buds.)

I'm not looking for new recipes.  Trust me, I have more than enough for this year and more.  If you'd like a copy of a recipe, let me know.

Thank you to my dear friend Lisa for this cute apron for Christmas!

Social Distancing Week 2

Church, this second week at home, was more normal, if that's a thing anymore.  Nate was able to administer the Sacrament to us, and that brought peace to my heart. We also had a little more structure in our meeting and I think the kids responded well to that.  Our Sunday School lesson was on Jacob 5.  After summarizing the Allegory of the Olive Tree, Nate took out family outside to see his two peach trees.  One was ready to burst into blooms, the other had no blossom buds.  We could see how the one tree was not doing well and wouldn't produce any fruit.  Then Nate took us over to his apple trees where he had recently grafted in some different types of apples.  Seeing the process really helped me understand the allegory and all the work that is necessary to bring forth good fruit.  It won't happen by itself.  So, what am I doing to help the work of the Lord?  What more can I do?

Week 2 of teaching online found me at my computer from 6:30 am to 8 or 9 pm.  My students were turning in a ton of work (yay!), but being at the computer all day made me feel like I was being horrible mom.  The kids ran around wild and watched hours of TV.    We had a schedule that I printed off each day, but this was survival mode and so the schedule was mostly ignored.  Hopefully, once the oldest start new content next week, some form of normalcy will appear.

To help engage our students in our daily video chats, our team of teachers hosted our own video Spirit Week.  Each day the teachers of Team Fox, and some of the students, dressed up for a daily Zoom meetings.  This silliness made smiles happen as we connected digitally if we couldn't connect in person.

	Crazy Hat day with my Graduation Cap.  Hard to believe that it was almost a year ago that I defended my paper on the Math of Solar Eclipses.	For Character Day, I was a MathNet detective from the 80s PBS show Square One TV.
Crazy Sock means I wore my Math Socks.  Could have gone crazier with all the Fox socks that I have.	Bring your Pet to School day means that Mittens got to see my students. This was probably my favorite day of the week because I had over 20 students in the online meeting introducing their peers to their pets.	Aloha!  We ended up not hosting a video meeting this day, but sharing pictures of our Hawaiian get-up helped us all get through the dreary isolation.

I had hoped to have many more books read, and the house deep-cleaned, and my quilt finished, and my children perfectly dressed, and the laundry done, and... and... and...  But I feel like the one thing that I have had to accept (again) is that good enough really is good enough.  And what is good enough during social distancing is much less than before.  We might not have a bulk supply of toilet paper, but we have enough for our needs.  We might not be able to pick up more than 2 loaves of bread at the store, but we have a wheat grinder and I have a husband he enjoys experimenting with baking bread.  We might not be engaging in home-schooling, but we are home, and safe, and the kids are learning to cope with this strange situation we find ourselves in.  It's far from perfect, it's far from ideal.  But it's good enough.  And that is good enough.

Next Round Finished...Finally

Thanks to my son for holding so still so I could take the picture.

Who was so crazy as to sign up to complete an entire quilt in 6 weeks?  Oh, that's right--me.  So, that didn't happen.  But I'm not giving up.

Life may have been crazy overly exhausting for the last month, but I've finally completed the "baby section" of my Starstruck Quilt.  My favorite part of this round is the small gray "tulips" as my 4 year old calls them, or "cats" as my 2 year old calls them.

On a silly note, after 10 years, I truly made my craft room into a craft room...by dropping all my pins on the floor!  Thank Heavens, I only have a handful of pins at this time.  Still, I wouldn't go in there barefoot for awhile.

This month has been crazy, and finding moments to work on my quilt has been difficult.  But I'm happy with the progress and look forward to starting the next round of my quilt.  That is right after I'm done baking rolls, making jigglers, and winning our family's "key lime pie" bake off today.  ;)

Being Kind to Myself. It's Harder Than I Think It Should Be

 After the Fall General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I felt like one of the messages for me was to be kinder to myself.  I know that what I think I should do and what I actually can do are not always the same...so why do I make myself feel guilty when the two don't match?

My "craft room" after I cleaned up.  Yikes!

For example, knowing that I was behind on my Quilt Along, I came home ON TIME rather than 2 hours late from school and decided to sit down and work on the wall hanging section of the quilt.  I knew that I should be able to complete the whole thing in 2 hours before I needed to pick up the kiddos from daycare. But then reality hit.  I needed to move the laundry from my craft room (notice I
didn't say fold), find my sewing machine in the storage room, and then locate my scissors, and don't forget to look for the pins that were for some reason up on a book shelf in the living room.  Then I needed to vacuum up that spider, and search for my seam ripper.  And once I got everything together, it was time to pick up the kids.  I just couldn't do what I wanted.  It's wasn't can versus should, it was can't versus should--and it left me feeling awful.

I wish I had a magical story to tell here and how a fairy godmother came and made everything alright and I finished the quilt wall hanging on time, and cooked a gourmet dinner, and had a spotless house, and folded that laundry, and created the perfect lesson plan for the next day.  But that's a lie.

I know that I have a hard time balancing all of the good and better things in my life, and that it's difficult to choose what's best.  Some days I can do it all, some days I feel like I should do it all, and some days I fall apart and cry because none of it happened at all. 

The point of this ramble is that I accomplished something.  And that may not be much to you, but it makes me happy.  It makes me proud.  And I did it just for me.

So, this is me celebrating what I can do.







I can make flying geese using a no waste method.










I can create perfect half-square triangles.










I can learn a new quilt block called the "switch and flip".









I can find time to finish the wall hanging section of my quilt.

I can acknowledge that my family comes first, and my job come shortly after that--but I am important!

I can understand that while I may not be able to grade tests coherently after 10 pm, I apparently have no problem quilting after 10 pm.

I can apologize because I am NOT a social person while quilting.  (Sorry, Nate.)

I can enjoy hot cocoa and quilting at the same time.

I can finish what I started out to do without feeling guilty about the time it took.

I can do hard things.

Cutting Out Fabric or Grading Tests...which is worse?

I am behind on my Quilt Along.  But then again, I am behind on grading the last unit's tests.  So, which one gets accomplished tonight...that's right, the one that's about me.  (See, it can be all about me sometimes.)

After two long nights of parent teacher conferences last week, I thought I'd tackle the dreaded cutting out of the quilt fabric.  Honestly, I'm glad to get it all done in one fell swoop...but I still don't enjoy doing it. 

So, after ironing all 22 fat quarters and 8 1/2 yards of background fabric, the designing began.  The question became where do I place all of the colors.  I want to eventually place this in my room (after we paint, and get new carpet, and remodel a dozen other things first).  That means the gray needs to be more prevalent.  And each of the strawberry fabrics has a LOT of pink--which is not my husband's favorite.  Fortunately,  he gave me the go ahead to make this quilt however I would like.  (I love you, honey!)   Two hours of digital coloring and I ended up with this.

It's not a perfect digital drawing, because I'm pretty sure there is a better software out there than my scrap-booking program.  But the kids were at day care, I had the day off of school, so I'll take what I can get.

Saturday dawned with the need to go food shopping, clean the house, take the kids to practice for their Primary Program, basketball game, family reunions, grade those darn tests.  But, nope.  I did very little of it.  (Primary Program, basketball game, feeding the kids.  You know, the essentials.)  I spent the day cutting out fabric.  And I mean the WHOLE DAY.  Eight hours!  Yikes!  But I felt like I got to know my fabric better (how do you do?) and could figure out how the quilt was going to be assembled.  Plus my mind was reviewing rigid transformations, linear algebra, and other geometric transformations with each cut.  (What?  You don't do higher mathematics in your head while quilting?)





 This is my favorite print!  It will be the center star on my quilt.












Look how cute the dragonflies are on my background fabric!






Saturday evening I got interrupted by having to watch a family night movie with my family and my sister's family (Hurray! Welcome back to Utah!), so it took until tonight to finish cutting up the remaining pieces.  But it's done!  And here's the proof!

It's late.  But the cutting out of fabric is done.  Not a lot of scraps left over, so no mistakes?!?!?  Look for a post again soon about the wall hanging section and baby quilt section.

The next project

My master's degree is finished!  Hurray!  So after a mostly peaceful summer of doing absolutely nothing, it was nice to get back into teaching and having a schedule.  It's also been nice to say

"Yes!"

instead of "No" all the time.  My latest "yes" was to myself.  I was browsing Facebook and came across this beautiful quilt.

http://www.happyquiltingmelissa.com/p/quilt-longs.html

 I loved the colors and I loved the design, and I thought "why not?"  I mean, it's not like I have 2 sets of quilt blocks from my first ever Block of the Month clubs over 15 years ago that are still not assembled or my first quilt from my mother-in-law's Quilt Guild classes from 3 years ago that I haven't finished yet.  And I'm a working mom who teaches full time then runs after four munchkins.  But "why not?"

So, ready or not, here I go.

Last night I bought my fabric at Quilt's Etc.  I loved the colors and I think the strawberries add a fun detail.

Have you ever started something because you wanted to, and not because you had to?

Instagating an Instant Pot

Wife, mother of 4, middle school teacher, graduate student, and somewhere in there is just me, Jen.  On a typical weeknight, I have about an hour to actually decide what I want to fix for dinner, cook it, eat it, and clean up before it's on to homework for kids, bedtime for husband and kids, and homework for me.  Do I really need to state that I don't have a lot of time to cook the way that I dreamed about as a teenager?

I'm always looking  for quick, healthy, recipes that my children will eat and that actually taste good.  My mother gave me an Instant Pot for Christmas, and I'm willing to try it.  But I'm going to need some accountability, or it will end up sitting on a shelf in kitchen waiting for that once-in-awhile recipe (Sunday Roast in a Slow Cooker, for example).  So, I made a Pinterest Board with my sister-in-laws to see what they've tried and get new ideas.  And I'm going to blog once a week about my adventure.  (52 posts instead of 365.  Seems reasonable...right?)

Welcome to 2018.

Today is about ME.

I had a panic attack last night.  I won't bore you with the details, but the panic attack (and my husband) forced me to take today off of school.  And while there is SO much that I could be doing (grad school projects, grad school homework, grading tests, creating tests, creating lesson plans, writing new quizzes, reading educational books for book club, reading fun books, reading books for grad school, reading that book my husband wants to discuss, reading social media, laundry, cleaning my house, laundry, dishes, did I mention--laundry, answering emails, scrapbooking, quilting, watching the new episode of Poldark, watching old episodes of Friends, finishing watching Pride & Prejudice, drywalling, laundry, painting, vacuuming, and--oh yeah--laundry)...

Today is about ME.

So, unlike Elizabeth Gilbert in her book Eat, Pray, Love who had a year to figure things out--I have 24 hours to myself (or really 10 hours until everyone gets home and I have to be mom again) .  I decide that this day isn't going to work if I try to jam pack EVERYTHING into that I want.  I have ten hours and they are precious, so everything I do needs to be deliberate.  Here we go.

6-7 AM  Woke up and went back to sleep.  Yay!  Rushed the kids out of the house and to day care.   Oldest child still says her neck hurts, but I need her to go to school today.   My shoulders and back hurt (from stress?), not doing much for myself yet.  But didn't scream at kids as we got into the car.  That's a plus.

7-8 AM  Got home from dropping kids off and decided it was time to eat.  But today needs to be deliberately about taking care of Jen, so why not try cooking something new.  I like cooking.  And I'm not too worried about messing up something if it's just for me.  I tried Eggs Benedict for the first time a couple of years ago (thanks to Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride), and I liked it well enough.  But I've never poached an egg before.  So, I look up recipe in a couple of cookbooks and decide to go with America Test Kitchen's recipe.  Try poaching 3 eggs--it's all we had.  Big mess.  Didn't taste very good.  Maybe it's the hollandaise sauce and English muffin that I liked better from Eggs Benedict.  Oh it could just be the cook.  She needs more practice!  Oh well, the toast and raspberry jam are good.

8-9 AM  Substitute calls.  Same one from my last two maternity leaves.  He can handle my classes so I'm not too worried.  Time to blog and keep MYSELF accountable to ME about MY day.  Don't even know if I'll publish this for the world to see.  Decide that social media is not where I want to spend my time today.  But some laundry will definitely need to be done...no clean pants.  Hmmm...clean laundry doesn't do much good if it isn't put away.  I find 5 baskets of so-called clean laundry and fold them while the washing machine starts its work on my jeans.  I'M not multi-tasking.  The washing machine is just being accommodating by working at the same time.  I probably should have taken mom up on her offer to help with laundry more while our basement was under construction last week.

9-10 AM  Five baskets is A LOT of laundry to fold.  And I'm ashamed to admit that some of it was from our vacation to Rexburg.  That was TWO months ago.  No wonder I've been feeling like I have no clothes to wear.  Sure, I could offer over a dozen excuses as to why it didn't get done.  But excuses won't fix it the problem.  Folding it today did.  And figuring out how to balance my life--and ask for and accept help--will.  It's funny how my ipod seems to detect my mood and play exactly what I need to hear.  "Something That I Want" from Tangled, "Happy" from Despicable Me 2, "When We Were Kings" from The Count of Monte Cristo musical, to name a few.  Being alone with my thoughts and the laundry made me realize that I don't really have a clean spot to my name.  I remember that in college, as long as I had a spot to center myself (my bedroom if my roommates were social, or the front room if they weren't) I was fine.  But I don't have that spot right now in my own home.  Sure, I've got by messy bedroom, or the messy kitchen, or the messy family room, or the messy living room (get the picture) when Nate and the kids are asleep.  But what if I don't want to wait until 8 pm to have a quiet moment.  I think it's time to go design my craft room (a.k.a. MY space.)

10-11 AM  Got distracted by a healthy snack (apple and caramel) and Game Theory.  I have a project due 25 days for grad school.  The purpose: introduce my classmates to game theory.  So, I picked up a couple of books from the library on Wednesday and they have been sitting waiting for me to read them.  Snack time seems like a good time (and a way to avoid the all-to-easy-to-get-to social media).  This book is titled Gladiators, Pirates and Games of Trust by Haim Shapira. (Yes, I picked it just for the title.)  First two chapters were fun to read.  Did another load of laundry (Hurray for clean jeans!)  And took measurements of the current craft room.

11 AM - 12 PM  It's fun to design and measure (and use 7th grade math for scale factoring).  What's hard is keeping this room about ME.  Sure it would be easy to store all the holiday decorations in there and all the food storage and, and, and...  That defeats the purpose.  Right now, I am designing this room for me; not my children, or my husband, or our stuff.  That's not to say that it won't end up holding some of these other items in the future.  But that's not what I'm doing right now.

12-1 PM  Lunch time: PB & J and more designing.  Would be easier if it wasn't on my scrapbook software, but Microsoft "Paint" won't do what I want and I haven't loaded Photoshop onto my laptop.  Oh well.

1-2 PM  I caved.  I checked social media--but only for 15 minutes.  And took a much needed nap.

2-3 PM  Shower, finally.  And then the last two loads of laundry (from our room).  These have been sitting there for weeks.  Why?  A pen exploded and I hadn't the heart to throw the stuff away.  I also didn't have the time to do anything about it.  Until today.  A little Spray & Wash and the deep cleaning setting on my washing machine and the darks have come out pen-free.  Now for the real challenge--the lighter colored stuff.  Fingers crossed.

3-4 PM  The last hour was spent centering myself by reading my scriptures, looking through home improvement pictures, and playing the piano. 

Today's experiment and recovery time is over and I'm okay with that.  I've enjoyed being by myself and doing only want I want.  But I'm not just ME anymore.  I'm also WIFE, and MOM, and DAUGHTER, and NEIGHBOR, and FRIEND, and TEACHER, and STUDENT.  And that's the way it should be.  Each role I play makes my life better, happier, more enriching.  I just need to remember that all of these roles balance on ME.  If I don't take care of myself, then I can't perform my other roles without resentment or exhaustion.  Now, if I can just hold on to that idea.